Getting My Toes Done

Dear Mom,
Today I treated myself and had a pedicure. I went on my lunch hour to a nail salon on the square in Gainesville. I really liked the place and they weren't as expensive as the last place I went to. I desperately needed a pedicure! Anyway, a lady came in while I was there. She must have been a "regular" b/c all of the ladies greeted her by name. The technician doing my toes told me that the lady's husband had suddenly died a few weeks ago from a heart attack. This must have been the first time she'd been in since that b/c all the ladies were asking her how she was doing. They were looking at her the way people look at Dad now. She acted like Dad too when she responded. Her voice cracked and she said she was doing ok.

As she got closer (she was having her toes done, too) I realized that she looked so much like you. She was about your age, same hair style, same curve in her back, same blue jeans, tennis shoes, t-shirt combo that you often wore. She was thin and looked a little frail like you.

A wave of sorrow came over me, Mom. My instinct was to get up and hug her! I wanted to hug her b/c she was experiencing a loss similar to mine, I wanted to hug her b/c she looked like you. Odd as it sounds, I think this was the first time I really thought, "I'll never be able to hug Mom again." I haven't really let my emotions flow so this overwhelming sadness took me by surprise.

So there I sat at the nail salon with tears running down my face. They must have thought I was nuts! It got to the point where I couldn't even look at the lady. I never did go up and hug her. She might have called the police on me!

I guess I have a long way to go.

Miss you,
Anna